But my stretchmarks look bad, I have cellulite on my legs, and don’t get me started on the rolls on my stomach. Hi guys, it’s Erin here-and I feel insecure about SO many things on my body. Anyone else?

I’m not here to tell you that you shouldn’t feel this way, because hey, those are you feelings, and they matter, but ask yourself does it serve you?

Does it serve you to never go to the beach, or to cover up your body with oversized shirts (Trust me, I’ve done it, especially to hide my stomach), or to hide from family photos? No. It just doesn’t. And here’s the kicker, I’m not telling you that you should feel bad about what you do to hide your body. It’s just what we do when we feel badly about something. We hide.

It works until it doesn’t. That’s what I’ll tell you. It doesn’t matter how many videos you watch, how many influencers you follow on social media, how much money you spend on ANY weight-loss product. Until your current situation is MORE painful than making a change is, it will be nearly impossible to make a change.

Erin, I thought you were here to tell me all the good things… And I am! But I want to make something very clear. You deciding to LOVE who you are right now (or work really hard to love it) or do it in 30lbs gone doesn’t change who you are right now. It just makes you HATE where you are, and trust me I have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt. Often we have created this hamster wheel we are on. If I do _____ then I will be/feel _______. And so we wait for an absolution that never comes. *titanic reference there for you seasoned readers.*

How many of you have said…

“If I lose 30lbs then I’ll feel more beautiful/fit/fun/happy”
“If I get the promotion, then I’ll be happy.”
“If I find my soul mate, then I’ll be happy.”

It’s this kind of thinking that leads us to being UNHAPPY. And here is an example for you, how many of you have achieved some goal you had, and you were hoping it would make you so fulfilled, so happy, and yet… something was missing. Cause achieving the THING doesn’t make us happy like we think it will.
The trick (if there is one…) is to be happy where you are first, and then when you make the thing happy, happy will be in everything you do/feel about it. But here is the thing. This thing? Being happy where you are? It’s not easy. In fact. it’s freaking hard. Because your old mindset will direct you where it’s always gone.

Which is the crab bucket.

The crab bucket is where YOUR mindset will go as the path of least resistant, our minds are there to protect us, and new and challenging things create fear.

So what can I do Erin? Am I doomed?

Hell no. You’re not. BUT creating a new pathway for your brain is going to take TIME, and practice. One thing I will ask you to stop doing is critiquing your appearance out loud. Your kids learn their body image/expectations from YOU. The second step is to hear yourself as you are being critical to yourself. And let me be real, it’s not as simple as not thinking them anymore. Cause that’s a bunch of bullshit. Instead of saying, well my thoughts are bullshit about my body and the way it looks (cause again, telling YOURSELF that YOU are bullshit isn’t the point), try saying, this is where I am today. And that’s OK.

So let’s bring this home. It is summer here in Canada, the beaches are only open for these few months, go to the damn beach and wear your bathing suit. The only person who is thinking about what her legs look like and how she hates her stomach or her ass is YOU. Other people’s opinions are NONE of your business. And if you’re still fearful, I want you to think of this.

When I’m 90 years old, will I have let my fear of other people’s opinions about MY body dictate how I live my life or spend time with my kids? For me? If the answer is yes? I GO IN THE DAMN WATER. I put on the damn suit. Your kids will remember the trip to the beach, not mom’s cellulite. Just wear the damn suit.